Binge Eating, Body Image, Bulimia, Disordered Eating, HAES, Intuitive Eating, Mental Health Topics, Non Diet Kylee Roberts, Mental Health Virtual Assistant Binge Eating, Body Image, Bulimia, Disordered Eating, HAES, Intuitive Eating, Mental Health Topics, Non Diet Kylee Roberts, Mental Health Virtual Assistant

Body Positive Influencers

People are shamed everyday for their weight and the way they look, and that is not right at all. Influencers all over the world have decided this stigma against plus-size creators should be put to a stop immediately. As the number of body positive creators rose, the better the social media environment gets.

Social media has always tried to fit people into a “box”. To get famous, you need to be “skinny” and have a perfect life. This idea has brought down the confidence of men and women for a long time. People are shamed everyday for their weight and the way they look, and that is not right at all. Influencers all over the world have decided this stigma against plus-size creators should be put to a stop immediately. As the number of body positive creators rose, the better the social media environment has gotten. In today’s blog, I have listed ten body positive creators on the social media platform Instagram that you should check out and follow!

#1 Mik Zazon (@mikzazon)

     Mik Zazon is a 26 year old instagram influencer who has 1 million followers. She posts multiple times a week, and focuses on normalizing insecurities in women today.

#2 Michelle Elman (@michellelelman)

     Elman is a 29 year old life coach, author, and influencer who has 245 thousand followers. She talks about many mental health topics and stigmas on her page.

#3 Anna Sweeney (@dietitiananna)

     Anna is an eating counselor with 130 thousand followers. On her page, she posts about having healthy eating habits and exposing the harm of eating disorders.

#4 Neha Parulkar (@nehaparulkar)

     Neha is a plus-size model and body positive influencer with 50 thousand followers. She posts about what it’s like to be a plus-size ethnic woman in today’s society.

#5 Kadeeja Sel Khan (@emeraldxbeauty)

     Khan is an acne model and skin activist with 383 thousand followers. She is trying to normalize having acne and stop people from feeling ashamed of it.

#6 Claus Fleissner (@extra_inches_plussizeblog)

     Fleissner is a plus-size model with 20 thousand followers. He uses his page to promote more plus-size representation in the fashion industry.

#7 Riccardo Onorato (@guyoverboard)

     Onorato is a body-positive influencer with 81.7 thousand followers. He uses his page to show how men are pressured to conform to society’s beauty standards, and how he got through those pressures himself.

#8 Ryan Sheldon (@realryansheldon)

     Sheldon is an influencer with 20.6 thousand followers. He talks about how he struggles with an eating disorder on his page, and also how he overcame it.

#9 Zach Miko (@zackmiko)

     Miko was Target’s first plus-size model ever, and caused people to start talking about body inclusivity more because of his achievements.

#10 Kelvin Davis (@kelvindavis)

      Davis is a body-positive influencer and model with 124 thousand followers. His page promotes self-love and acceptance of yourself and your body.


Resources :

Taylor Andrews (2021, March 3). Follow these 15 body positive activists for all the ~good Vibes~. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved October 6, 2022, from https://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/g13352390/body-positivity-instagram-accounts/

Wheeler, K. (2020, July 10). 11 male body confidence bloggers you need to follow now. Happiful Magazine. Retrieved October 6, 2022, from https://happiful.com/male-body-confidence-bloggers-to-follow/


 

Kylee Roberts, Mental Health Virtual Assistant

Co-Written by Amber Madden, LPCC-S

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How One Magazine Changed My Life

I can remember wanting to buy all the magazine publications I could. I would inpatiently wait every month for new editions of my favorites to hit the stands. Teen, Seventeen, Glamour, Cosmogirl - I spent my allowance on all of them. What articles was I most interested in reading? Everything that had to do with diet, fitness and beauty.

How one magazine changed my life.

In present day society, diet culture is everywhere you turn. Hundreds of television commercials advertising the latest beauty products and fitness brands, your favorite celebrities talking about what diet they're currently on and even the publications we read.

There are many reasons and ways one can be susceptible to disordered eating or an eating disorder. The factors which contribute to these issues are often multifaceted, meaning there are usually multiple factors. These factors include, but are not limited to: family pressures and dynamics, images portrayed by the media, experiences with peers throughout childhood, genetic predispositions, trauma, and more. We cannot always control for all of these factors. In fact, many are out of our control. However, I do believe we can work towards creating a more positive environment by creating personal boundaries.

When I was a pre-teen adolescent, verging on the entry of those dreaded middle school years, I was very susceptible to the influences of the diet and fitness industries. Like many young girls (and young boys) the puberty years are some of the toughest to endure because of all the bodily changes that take place.

During this time of my adolescence, I can remember wanting very much to change my appearance. Whether it was so boys would like me more or to fit in with my peers, I was desperate to learn everything I could about how to change my appearance to look more like what I was exposed to at the time. Magazine publications became a huge influence for me and how I would cultivate my identity, or at least what I thought my identity should be based on the messages I received.

I can remember wanting to buy all the magazine publications I could. I would inpatiently wait every month for new editions of my favorites to hit the stands. Teen, Seventeen, Glamour, Cosmogirl - I spent my allowance on all of them. What articles was I most interested in reading? Everything that had to do with diet, fitness and beauty.

The magazine industry is a multibillion dollar industry that bases all their earnings from the advertisers that support them. Flip through any given magazine and you're likely to find more than half of it is advertisements about beauty products, fitness brands and diet companies. Perhaps the most troubling aspect of these publications, is that many of them masquerade as a way to try and help and improve you. With headlines like, "Age proof your whole body," and, "Flat Belly Finally - Score Flat Abs," the headline sounds like it's trying to solve a problem you have, when in actuality, it's telling you that your body is the problem.

But that's how advertising works. It's a cycle. The magazine publication headlines and articles need to convince you that there is something wrong with you so that you will subscribe to wanting/trying to fix the "problem." To do so, you have to buy beauty products, diet supplies and fitness gear. And that's how they earn their money, because the advertisers pay the magazines to publish these articles convincing you to feel bad about yourself so that you will buy their products. (Mic drop.)

To this very day, I can remember a very specific issue of a magazine called YM. I can remember exactly what the cover looked like and most of the content of the magazine. I read this issue SO MANY TIMES that I practically had it memorized. This issue was their "Fitness and Beauty Special Edition" for that year and was riddled with hundreds of tips for "getting the body you want," and "finally getting thin." I soaked up all of these messages like a dry sponge. I read this magazine cover to cover so many times that the actual cover did eventually wear off. I read it so many times that even now, nearly twenty years later, I had no problem picking out the cover of the magazine from a Google image search.

YM Magazine

Action Challenge

Looking back, these magazines did not teach me how to prioritize my health, but brainwashed me into having a diet mentality. As an adult, I am amazed even to this day how many of these magazines are still using these same tactics. Magazines that by the very title and definition should be helping you to achieve long-lasting health, have a very different motive entirely. One of the challenges we complete in my Break the Mold: Building Better Body Image course is to complete a Google image search of your favorite magazine publication. In this example here, we search for the popular Women's Health Magazine.

Women Health Magazine

When I think of my health, I think of it as a part of myself that is comprised of many different aspects. There's my mental health, physical health, emotional health and my social health (how I relate with others). However, a quick Google search for the Women's Health Magazine blatantly demonstrates that the magazine's definition of "health" primarily focuses on appearance, NOT other important measurements of health.

What You Can Do

It is unlikely the magazine industry is going to read this post and make drastic changes overnight. After all, they are already aware of the damage they cause, but do little to make changes unless pressured by greater demands. For example, YM magazine acquired a new editor who boldly decided to stop publishing harmful articles and headlines for their magazine. Subsequently, advertisers began pulling their ads from the magazine. YM ceased publishing shortly thereafter.

It will not be enough for one editor to make the decision that these articles and advertisements are harmful. We will only see change once consumers begin spending their money in other industries other than beauty products and diet brands. Perhaps that begins with you. I challenge you to take a look at the publications, advertisements and other media avenues you subscribe to and ask whether or not the messages you are supporting are helpful or harmful to you and your values. We CAN make a choice to spend our money on things that bring us joy, peace and harmony with ourselves and our bodies. Instead of spending your money on the latest beauty trend or diet food, think about investing that money in a evergreen experience which will bring you joy for years to come, such as travel or relationships. 

My hope for the future is that we see more and more of these publications respond by pulling advertising targeting towards beauty and diet brands. Instead, I believe if we (as women) demonstrate that we want to be valued for other reasons, then we will begin to see different features in the media. I, for one, would rather read about travel experiences, personal stories of growth and health articles that speak of health in the many different ways that are NOT related to weight or size. 

 

 

 

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Body Image, Disordered Eating, HAES, Non Diet Amber Madden Body Image, Disordered Eating, HAES, Non Diet Amber Madden

3 Ways to Transform Your Body Image Perception

This week I'm sharing a post I wrote for Wellseek on body image. In this article I highlighted 3 ways to transform your body image perception. 

This week I'm sharing a post I wrote for Wellseek on body image. In this article I highlighted 3 ways to transform your body image perception. 

Wellseek is a collaborate that creates media and programs to help health and nutrition experts inspire happier and nourished lives. They are doing a fantastic job in connecting experts and creating a space that embraces the non-diet, intuitive eating concepts. Check them out!  


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Body Image, Disordered Eating, HAES, Life Amber Madden Body Image, Disordered Eating, HAES, Life Amber Madden

Why I Quit Running (My Exercise Bulimia Story)

Something that once brought such joy and strength in my life was slowly tearing me apart, crushing my spirit and taking away everything I loved about running in the first place. I felt weak. I was weak.

This is a long one....so get settled in!

Track Running

I have been running since I was 16 years old, nearly 2 decades. It's an amazing amount of time. There have been breaks here and there, but for the most part, I have been a consistent runner.

Track Running

I have written about running MANY times on this blog and I absolutely love running. I love the rhythm of my foot strikes on the pavement, crisp white mornings covered in frost and the sense of accomplishment and strength I feel after each run.

Track Running

When I was 16 years old, I began running for a boy. It sounds weird when I type the sentence, but I know that's the real reason. I began running for a boy because a boy I was interested in was a runner.We never actually ran together, and I'm not even sure he knew I was running, too. I would run around the pasture at home on our farm. It began very slow, running one stretch of path and walking the next, but I'll never forget the day I ran an entire lap around the field -- and then when I ran 4 laps. It was in those square paths around barbed wire fencing and Cat Tails that I found myself. I began running for a boy, but I continued to run for me.

Track Running

Over the years running would turn into a passion, each day ending with a run and feeling a sense of power build within myself. Knowing that I was able to tackle mile after mile and do something many could never even think of gave me confidence, peace of mind, stress relief and grounding.

Track Running

You may remember in 2015 I ran a half marathon, and I made several posts about training for the half marathon. It was an amazing feat, one that I definitely do not regret. However, it was during this time, I think I began to lose myself in running. Running further than I ever had before was a great accomplishment. I'll never forget the day I ran 10 miles, it was truly like running that first grassy lap all over again. But during this time, an obsession began to take hold.

Winter Track Running

I wanted to run more miles, more training, be better, do better and run ALL THE RACES. So, despite having a full time job, working a part-time business, spending time with friends and family, I began to prioritize running above all else. Running slowly became a chore. And because of my training schedule, it felt like something I was tied to. So I began to ask myself -- WHY?

Winter Track Running

WHY am I training for a race I no longer wanted to do?

WHY do I feel disappointed in myself?

WHY do I feel like I'm failing?

WHY am I doing this?

WHY am I scared to quit?

In all of these questions, I realized I had lost myself. Something that once brought such joy and strength in my life was slowly tearing me apart, crushing my spirit and taking away everything I loved about running in the first place. I felt weak. I was weak.

Running

Along with all of this, another problem was emerging. Bulimia was taking hold, more specifically, Exercise Bulimia. Behind every race, every training day and every mile logged was also a precise count of every calorie burned. Deep down, my one thought behind all of the training -- Maybe I'll lose some weight, too. 

Running

So I logged more and more miles without properly fueling myself. I logged more and more miles, putting stress on my body and causing more stress on my emotional state. I logged more and more miles even though I was both mentally and physically exhausted. I thought I needed to push through the anguish because that is what is expected and the only way for reassurance and strength. After all, everyone feels like giving up, but only the true fighters push through.

Cold Weather Running

In April of last year (2016), I began experiencing irregular cycles (known as amenorrehea), a problem I hadn't had since my starvation days of high school. At first, I didn't tie it to overexercising. I actually was very concerned. As a female in my early 30's, I worried it was pre-menopause. My doctor confirmed that I had depleted my estrogen levels, a symptom common in those with bulimia or anorexia. I knew in that moment that I had relapsed.

So I stopped. I stopped racing. I stopped obsessing. I stopped counting. I stopped hating and chose to love myself more. So, I stopped running.

And you know what? I am happier.

Couch Cuddles

I FEEL healthier. I feel like I got my life back. When I stopped training for races, running 5 miles after a long day's work and stopped dreading having to spend an entire Saturday doing the mandatory "long run," I actually realized all the things I had been missing out on in my life.

Like late nights enjoying a glass of wine...

Wine

 

Enjoying more time with family....

Mom and Daughter Date

 

More couch time with these two...

Jasper and Chester

 

More Redbox date nights with the hubby...

Redbox

 

More time moving my body in ways that I want to, like taking walks...

Dog Walking

 

Investing more time in my passion...

ED Recovery Books

 

Time to be more creative in the kitchen...

Fresh Meal Delivery

 

And enjoy donuts without feeling one bit guilty...

Donuts

 

I have not completely stopped running, but I'm definitely only running to the point that I WANT to be running. I have brought back the enjoyment of running, usually running no more than a couple of miles at a time. My cycle has returned to normal AND I FEEL much more saner. I think most of all I have REALLY enjoyed just getting to come home every evening and enjoy some relaxation time, family time and treat myself to some personal freedom from having to be tethered to a training plan.

`````````````````````````````

If you believe you have become OBSESSED with your training plan, with exercise, then I highly recommend you just STOP. Life is too short and the people in your life are too important. There are more parts of your life that make up YOU besides just your training plan. It is amazing to exercise to the extent that you feel happy with what you're doing - that you ENJOY doing it. But if you start to feel yourself slipping away, then reassess why you're doing it!

If you would like to learn more about your own behavior, there is a Compulsive Exercising Questionnaire available for you to take here. 

 

Similar Stories

For more recommended reading on this topic, a few other great female bloggers have also written on the topic. Their posts inspired me to share my own story and I would love for you to read theirs!

Not Having Your Period is Not Normal - Robyn Coale, RD, NP

Exercise and Me (AKA  My Story + Some Thoughts Helping You Get Out of an Exercise Compulsion - Kylie Mitchell, RD

 

Recommended Reading

Exercise Bulimia and Drunkorexia: The Lesser Known Disorders - Eating Disorder Hope

Exercise Bulimia: Symptoms, Treatments and More - Healthline

(Edited to add the below articles.)

What it Feels Like to Have Exercise Bulimia - Shape

The Reality of Exercise After an Eating Disorder - Shape

 

Originally posted on my other blog on February 13, 2017. Moved to this blog on October 13, 2017.


Body Acceptance Meditation.jpg

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If I Lived On An Island... (A Meditation for Body Acceptance)

One way to help individuals move towards body acceptance is to try and target who they would be without all the noise in their life. Who would they be without the pressure of the media, society, images, Instagram, peers, friends, family, etc.?

I often work with my Bloom clients on how to recognize the root of their diet motivation. Why do they want to diet? Why do they want to change their body?

One way to help individuals move towards body acceptance is to try and target who they would be without all the noise in their life. Who would they be without the pressure of the media, society, images, Instagram, peers, friends, family, etc.?

We conduct an exercise in guided visualization  in which I instruct them to think deeply and patiently about each question and statement. This exercise is intended to help move towards body acceptance. 

The visualization starts with a simple question:

If you lived on an island alone, who would you be?

Who would you be in your body? Who would you be around food?

This island is remote and there is no one else around. There is no one to see your body. There are no mirrors.

How do you feel about your body in this moment, on this island alone?

Are you thinking about what your body looks like?

Are you fully clothed? Wearing a bathing suit? Wearing nothing? How are you most comfortable in your body, on this island alone?

 

On this island, you’re also tasked with surviving. This may involve building a shelter, foraging for food and escaping from predators.

In what order does your body’s appearance fall in your list of priorities for living on this island alone?

What other areas of living take precedence? Why are they more or less important than your body’s appearance, on this island alone?

How do you want to nourish your body, on this island alone? What foods would you find satisfying on the island? What foods do you think your body would naturally crave in order to sustain living on the island?

What foods might you miss because they are unavailable on the island? What foods would you be okay with never having again?

On this island alone, how important is health? Exercise? Well-being? Peace of mind? Does your style of eating change based on these priorities?

On this island, if you were able to invite one or two people to join you, who could you invite that would NOT significantly alter this state of being, in your body, on this island? Who would you welcome in which you would feel it is unnecessary to change anything?

As you’re preparing to leave the island, think about what part of this experience you want to take back with you. How will you incorporate this into your everyday life? 

 

I would love to hear your reactions and thoughts to this exercise. Feel free to answer any of the questions above in the comments below!

If this exercise really resonated with you, then I invite you to take a look at my online, course on body image, Break the Mold: Building Body Positivity, where we dive even deeper into the complexity of body image and food relationships.

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Binge Eating, Disordered Eating, HAES, Non Diet Amber Madden Binge Eating, Disordered Eating, HAES, Non Diet Amber Madden

The Closet Clean Out Guide for Body Acceptance

I have been putting off going through my old clothes for what feels like a lifetime, and quite honestly, has been at least a decade. Sure, I've sold/given away a few items here and there over the years, but there are so many more items I've been hanging onto for "when I can wear them again," or "when I lose the weight." 

It has been slowly eating away at me. Calling and screaming at me from inside the walls of my house. Months that have added up to over a decade of failed promises and vows. A purple, spaghetti strap shirt I wore while dating my boyfriend, now husband (the straps didn't fit right then either.) A college sweatshirt that I've been hanging onto because it reminds me of a time long ago. A skirt I once loved and brings back a time of tan legs, tousled hair of humid summer nights and a time when I believed how I looked in that skirt would make all the difference. 

I have been putting off going through my old clothes for what feels like a lifetime, and quite honestly, has been at least a decade. Sure, I've sold/given away a few items here and there over the years, but there are so many more items I've been hanging onto for "when I can wear them again," or "when I lose the weight." 

Well, my newfound mission to accept my body for the size it is intended to be has also spurred  me to a total closet clean out. That and... well, the husband is "tired of looking at the boxes." So, this past week I finally made an effort to go through ever article of clothing. Here's how it all went down AND how I would suggest any person who has been unwilling/not wanting to get rid of clothing that no longer fits can make the process as smooth as possible.

Step 1 - MAYBE pour a glass of wine. Why not make this process a fun occasion, right? For some, this may be an emotional experience that will bring up ALL KINDS of memories. Find a way to make this process "fun" if possible. Pour a glass of wine, put on your favorite playlist, or pop in Runaway Bride. This process doesn't have to be the torturous event you've probably made it out to be. 

Step 2 - Decide on what "piles" you're going to need. You may want to try to sell some items that are a little less worn or name brand clothing, as well as donate some items you maybe feel aren't worth the time to make out the price tags for the next yard sale. My piles included: Donate, Sell, Sell to Ebay or Threadup, Try-On-And-Decide, Keep, Trash. For my "try-on" pile, I knew there were some items that looked like I might need to try them on and decide whether or not they would be kept. My nicer and more expensive items I either decided to sell in the yard sale or sell on Ebay or Threadup (if they were barely worn/still had tags). I also had a Trash pile for those that were beyond salvaging (looking at you shorts with paint stains). 

Step 3 - Gather supplies. Boxes for packing items up for the next Garage sale, stickers for pricing, etc. Pretty straight forward here and not sure what else I need to say about this... I mean,  you don't want to have to get up over and over again!

Step 4 - Reflect and reminisce. Take a few moments before you begin and accept the fact that this is a process. You're going to be going through clothing that is perhaps decades old. Some of this clothing may represent a different time in your life - a different person even. It's OK to feel uneasy about it. It's OK to feel sad that the clothing doesn't fit anymore. But more than anything, recognize that you're going through this process as a means of moving forward - to the person you are today and to honor the person that you are now. 

Step 5 - Do the thing. Nothing left at this point but diving in. When memories come to the surface, take a few moments to let those wash over you. Cherish the memories that were formed and then move on. You can always have the memory and the clothing item cannot take that away. When you find item that no longer fit the body you're in now, remember that bodies change constantly throughout a lifetime. We ARE NOT MEANT to be in the same body for our entire lives! You don't expect to fit into the onesie that you wore as a baby and you shouldn't expect to fit into the mini skirt your wore in your teens. It's OK. 

Step 6 - Take breaks. For some this may be an all day thing. Make sure you take breaks, get some fresh air, stretch your legs and take care of yourself. This process doesn't have to be a miserable one and don't make it so by forcing yourself to sit in one spot all day long.

Step 7 - Pack everything up. Decide what you're going to do to finish the process and remove the items from your home. A community yard sale? Thredup? Ebay? Goodwill? All are options. 

Step 8 - Reward yourself with new items! Now might be a good time to invest in some new items for your revamped closet. It may be that you've been wearing the same 5-6 items over and over again because they're the only items you've had that have fit the body you're in now. If you were able to sell some items, I definitely suggest reinvesting the money you earned into a new wardrobe. Some other options might be to try some rental companies. Le Tote and NY&C both offer services to rent items for one price per month. They are GREAT options for dabbling with a new wardrobe, new style and perhaps new sizes without spending a ton of money.

Step 9. - Reach out for support. Did this process take an emotional toll? Perhaps it left you feeling drained and even doubting the process of Intuitive Eating or accepting the new body you're in now. You may want to reach out to support for some feedback on your experiences and to reassure you that you've made the best decision.

Step 10 - Is mostly for the love of having an even 10 number of items on the list! Pour yourself an extra glass of wine and celebrate! And if I were you, I would hit up the online shopping to replenish that wardrobe with items that you'll truly love and feel comfortable in! 


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Ongoing Support for Your Non-Diet Journey

Recovery work for body image and binge eating can be riddled with lots of up's and down's along the way. It will be helpful for you to have supportive resources to turn to in times you're feeling the struggle a bit more.

 

(This page is continously updated. Be sure to bookmark it and visit again!)

Recovery work for body image and binge eating can be riddled with lots of up's and down's along the way. It will be helpful for you to have supportive resources to turn to in times you're feeling the struggle a bit more.

Directions: Challenge yourself to engage DAILY for at least 20 - 30 minutes in some type of helpful resource outlet. Below you will find a list of different methods and outlets for resources.

 

Podcasts

The Food Psych Podcast - Chrissy Harreleson, RD

Nutrition Matters - Paige Smathers, RDN, CD

The BodyLove Project - Jessi Haggerty

Life. Unrestricted. - Meret Boxler

The Love, Food Podcast - Julie Duffy Dillon

Body Kindness - Rebeccas Scritchfield, RDN

 

Books

Intuitive Eating - Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FA, DA

Body Respect - Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor

Body Kindness - Rebecca Scritchfield

Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight - Linda Bacon

 

Blogs

Immaeatthat.com - Kylie Mitchell, MPH, RDN

Thereallife-rd.com - Robyn Nohling, RD, NP

The Joy of Eating - Raychel Hartley, RD

 

Instagram Feeds

The Body Love Society - @thebodylovesociety

Beating Eating Disorders - @beatingeatingdisorders

Project HEAL - @projectheal

The Moderation Movement - @moderationmovement

 

Facebook Groups

Bloom Nutrition - Disordered Eating Support

Food Psych Podcast Listener Crew

Intuitive Eating Support Group

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HAES, Non Diet, Counseling, Journal Activities Amber Madden HAES, Non Diet, Counseling, Journal Activities Amber Madden

Dear Diet - A Journaling Activity

Dear Weight Watchers,

You were my first introduction into the dieting world. At only 12 years old, I was introduced to you SO YOUNG. Perhaps probably most messed up of all, was the fact that I didn't even join you because I wanted to lose weight, but because I wanted to be "in the club."

Below is a journaling activity we complete in Beat the Binge. I challenge you to write your own letter to your diet(s) and see what comes up. 

Dear Weight Watchers,

You were my first introduction into the dieting world. At only 12 years old, I was introduced to you SO YOUNG. Perhaps probably most messed up of all, was the fact that I didn't even join you because I wanted to lose weight, but because I wanted to be "in the club." I wanted to be part of this adult world and feel included with my mom when she went to meetings. I wanted to "weigh-in" with others and feel like I belonged. However, the fun was over when I began having to take tuna fish sandwiches to school and watch my other friends eating their normal lunches. You set me up for my first experience binge eating when every week we would "celebrate" weigh-in day by going out to eat afterwards. Because I knew I would be faced with another week of tuna fish sandwiches, I would feel compelled to eat as much as possible during these meals. I remember I would leave feeling stuffed, sick and guilty for eating so much. Weight Watchers, you did nothing for my life but make me feel like being on a diet was a mandatory passage into adulthood.

Dear YM Magazine (and others)

This particular issue in this magazine became a "diet bible" for me. It introduced me to over 100 diet tips that became a way of eating for me. In addition, YM Magazine, your publications brainwashed me into believing I would never be loved, never feel like I belong and never find happiness unless my body looked a certain way.

YM Magazine Cover

YM Magazine Cover

Dear Suzanne Somers,

I found your diet book in a box of yard sale items in a family yard sale. I remember sitting down and reading it from cover to cover. Your weird diet of combining different food pairings had me taking the bread off my sandwiches at school some days and eating only the meat and cheese on others. Dear Ms. Somers, you were my first introduction to "fear foods" many of which I sometimes still feel slight discomfort when eating even today. For nearly 6 years, I avoided white pasta, white bread, potatoes, potato chips, white rice and even carrots, peas and corn.

Dear Food Rules,

I spent the better part of my college years not allowing myself to have an enjoyable meal more than once a week. I usually would "splurge" on breakfast once a week, and the rest of the week I would stick to strictly "healthy" items. In addition, I also only allowed myself to have one dessert a week and three cans of soda a week. My friends marveled at how disciplined I was, but you only provided a false sense of security. For any deviation from you, including going out with friends for pizza, would send my guilt into a downward spiral. I would then feel compelled to run miles and miles afterward. I missed out on so much of the college experience because of you.

Dear Calorie King

I can't even remember where I found your book, but I remember it was my first introduction into counting calories. After discovering your book I could no longer go out to eat without first methodically looking up each meal and item of food in the book to see if it "fit" into my daily calorie intake. Mr. Calorie King you sucked all the fun out of dining out and taught me an entirely new approach to obsessively controlling my food.

Dear Weird Hot Dog Diet,

My coworkers first introduced me to you and I thought you sounded silly, but then I witnessed them losing weight. It sounded disgusting that I was to subsist on hotdogs, tuna fish, bananas, eggs and other weird items. But I gave you a try anyway. Dear Weird Hot Dog Diet you did nothing but make me hate feeding myself for a total of about 2 weeks. I definitely did not look forward to meal time during this 2 weeks, but maybe that was the point.

Dear MyFitness Pal,

When I first discovered you, I thought you were the greatest thing to have happened in my "health" journey. When I first computed my goals into your system, you told me I needed to eat 1100 calories a day to reach them. I began eating this amount calories and did in fact lose a considerable amount of weight. However, I also lost energy, became hyper focused on food because my body was actually slowly starving. Over time, my body adjusted to this low calorie intake and began to actually start gaining weight, despite the low calorie intake. I became more and more focused on you and more and more depressed and confused that I didn't understand why you were no longer working. Over time, this low calorie intake caused many other physiological responses in my body, including depression, loss of my cycle and even hair loss. Dear MyFitness Pal, I understand you are useful for some, but for me you're just another diet that causes me to feel crazy around food.

Dear "Clean Eating"

Once again I was fooled into thinking this was THEY way to be eating and the epitomy of health. Your philosophy of avoiding all foods that were processed and not naturally from the Earth were somehow evil to my body. You convinced me that foods such as chocolate, cheese and even cereal should be avoided. I believe you masquerade as healthy, but you're actually just another diet. You imply restriction and define the moral code of "good" and "bad" foods.

Dear Intermittent Fasting,

You almost had me again. After reading some "research" that seemed to indicate you might, indeed, be the solution to weight loss I believed that maybe I should give you a try. In order to make you work it meant giving up my favorite meal of the day, breakfast. I would spend the better half of the morning tired and lethargic because I had no energy from not eating anything. After the designated window of eating time opened, I would be so starved that I would sometimes overeat at lunchtime, which would leave me feeling stuffed, sick and leave my stomach upset for the rest of the day.

Dear Atkins,

You came into my life during a time when I was really trying to work on not dieting. However, after witnessing and overhearing my coworkers having success from following your plan, I almost decided to try you, too. I felt more and more confused about your way of eating because how could vegetables ever be considered "bad" for you. But on your plan I was only "allowed" so many ounces of vegetables on meals. On another note, I was to exist on literally no carbohydrates, an important source of energy for any human body to live on. I hated how I was having to focus on every meal and it seemed like I was having to relearn how to eat, when eating should be a natural thing.

Dear MyFitness Pal,

You continued to lurk in the background during my visits with the diets in between. I have spent years having an affair with you from the other diets. When I was engaging in another diet, you were always there in the background, whispering to me and telling me lies like, You know I worked before, I can work again. You know you've been eating more than 1200 calories on some days. You know this is the REAL reason you haven't lost weight. You know if you just would focus on every little item and put it into the plan it would work. MyFitnessPal, I finally decided to get rid of you once and for all and delete you from my phone. You bring me nothing but constant reminders of a time that I have moved away from now because I'm doing something different.

My Fitness Pal Delete Screen

My Fitness Pal Delete Screen

Dear Diets, All of You,

You have been there overshadowing some of the most important moments in my life. No matter how happy of occasion or amazing it should've been, you've been there to partly ruin it. Dear Diets you suck. And you do nothing but suck the joy out of my life. No. More.

Different Types of Diets - From Break the Mold Course

Different Types of Diets - From Break the Mold Course

What would you say to your diet(s)?

If this type of post resonates with you, then I invite you to check out my online courses Break the Mold: Building Body Positivity or Beat the Binge


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